Post by Deleted on Dec 22, 2018 15:05:15 GMT
Dear Santa,
This year for Christmas, I'd really love to get a good trade partner, and maybe even a good goalie. It's been over a year and a half since I've made any kind of trade, and truthfully, I don't really know if I'm a buyer or a seller going into the trade deadline. I'm only 4 points out of the playoffs, but the wheels are falling off (fast) on my goalies. Please tell Kate Upton I say hi.
Merry Christmas,
Lou (Buffalo)
Dear Santa,
Thanks again for delivering on Kevin Hayes. Giving a breakout season to such a bad hockey player really does prove you're the real deal! Hanukkah Harry already helped me out with the Pietrangelo trade, so I was hoping you could help make my daddy (Corey Crawford) better. He's been really sick this year, and was my big off-season acquisition!
Love,
Dave (Calgary)
Dear Santa,
All I want for Christmas this year is the gift of time! Work has been so busy that I haven't been trading, making transactions, or fixing my IR. Connor McDavid is even on my bench right now for tonight's game! Auto-setting my roster won't win me a championship, but luckily Sweet Baby Auston has been here to save the day. Won't be leaving cookies and milk out this season as I've recently switched to a new Paleo Vegan Keto diet - can't have that shit in my house no more.
Cheers,
Nate (Colorado)
Dear Santa,
You're really hanging me out to dry on these Russians eh? First Kovalchuk, now Koskinen? Blink twice if I should trade Svechnikov and Dadonov before things go sideways. Thank u sweet baby Jesus for the safe delivery of Thomas Chabot, if it wasn't for him I'd easily have the worst defence in the league. By the way, can you get Lou to trade me Letang???
Enjoy the flight,
Josh (Dallas)
Dear Santa,
I wrote you but still ain't callin'
I left my cell, my pager, and my home phone at the bottom
I sent two letters back in autumn, you must not-a got 'em
There probably was a problem at the post office or somethin'
I got a room full of your posters and your pictures man
I like the shit you did with Calgary, that shit was fat
Anyways, I hope you get this man, hit me back,
Just to chat, truly yours, your biggest fan
This is Dan
(Los Angeles)
Dear Santa,
This month long losing streak is really starting to get me down, I've dropped all the way from 3rd to 9th! My goalie tandems aren't really working out - I'm thinking of acquiring another tandem of a has-been Western Conference team, maybe Chicago or Los Angeles? Is this some sort of sick punishment because I have so many NJD players on my team? PS please don't let Artemi Panarin go back to Russia.
Happy Holidays to you & Mrs Clause,
Josh (Las Vegas)
Dear Santa,
No surprises here, if you could send some stability in net, that would be AWESOME! Oh and also do away with the NHL bye weeks (these are still a thing?). I'd be open to having Semyon Varlamov deported if that's what it takes to finally give Grubauer the starting job in Colorado - do you know anybody at Homeland Security that could craft up a story?
PS if you need a good xmas tree, I have a hook up in Northern Minnesota.
Peter (Minnesota)
Dear Santa,
All I want for Christmas is more Canadiens players. I'm willing to harass everyone in the league, hell, I might even overpay. I have 6 right now, can we get to double-digits by the end of December?
Merry Canadiens...erm I mean Christmas,
Chris (Montreal)
Dear Santa,
Yikes, this league has been tougher than I expected! Pretty hard to make a dent when my only guys doing anything are Kurcherov and Barkov. Can you bring back me a fully healed Vincent Trochek and a standout WJC from Joel Farabee? Willing to give up the PHI and FLA tandems as sacrificial lambs.
Love,
Jon (New Jersey)
Dear Santa,
You know I picked my team to finish 2nd in the league this year right? Maybe you can come a couple of days early, and bring Patrice Bergeron with you? That, and literally any other top-100 players would be super helpful (I currently only have two!). I know Shawn hired Brian Trottier to coach his Rangers, but honestly, we'll pay him to come out of retirement. I'm desperate for some scoring!
Brent (New York Islanders)
Dear Santa,
Owe you big time for gifting me the worst division in the history of the DHL. The only time I've had such an easy road to the playoffs is that year I played in a league by myself (which I lost in the finals). Are you seeing Bruce Cassidy this year? Please ask him to let Brad Marchand get match penalties again. Also please send some elves to help with my scouting department - my prospect roster has about as much skills at the New Mexico U14 hockey team.
Here's a picture I painted of Brad Marchand in the penalty box lol.
Love always,
Shawn
Dear Santa,
All I want for Christmas is Mike Hoffman's girlfriend, a pet kangaroo, and for Jake Allen to wake the hell up.
Sincerely,
Darren (Ottawa)
Dear Santa,
For Christmas this year I'd like 5 extra IR spots to fit all of my injured goalies, a new groin for Jonathan Quick, and a way to get my 1st round pick back! All of my wingers have combined for like 20 goals all season, so a top prospect or two would be nice.
Love,
Matt (Philadelphia)
Dear Santa,
Granlund, Barkov, Teravainen, Aho, Vatanen, Ristolainen. I want all of the Finns. I'll move to Espoo, Finland if it'll keep Rantanen and Laine happy!!! Kappo Kakko 2019!!!
Garrett (St. Louis)
Dear Santa,
How are you? I'm good. Hey could you get Klingberg and Ghost back on track? Last I checked these guys combined for 130 points last season, and we'll be lucky to get half of that production this year! I'm also looking to get my hands on any goalie that can maintain a GAA under 3.50 - I don't know how you expect me to make the playoffs with Talbot and Murray. Chris offered me Michael McNiven for John Tavares, so I might jump on that sooner than later.
Appreciate the help,
Steve (Toronto)
Dear Santa,
Please get some reindeer sized skates and ask the boys to lace em up. I need all the help I can get. Did any of these other idiots ask for defencemen or Canadiens players? I'm happy to trade away Jeff Petry if somebody can make me any halfway decent offer. If Varlamov is being deported, please also make sure Vasilevski goes too - I never thought Louis Domingue would have value ever again. Please also ask Garrett to stop bugging me about Juuse Saros.
Merry Christmas,
Ken (Winnipeg)
This year for Christmas, I'd really love to get a good trade partner, and maybe even a good goalie. It's been over a year and a half since I've made any kind of trade, and truthfully, I don't really know if I'm a buyer or a seller going into the trade deadline. I'm only 4 points out of the playoffs, but the wheels are falling off (fast) on my goalies. Please tell Kate Upton I say hi.
Merry Christmas,
Lou (Buffalo)
Dear Santa,
Thanks again for delivering on Kevin Hayes. Giving a breakout season to such a bad hockey player really does prove you're the real deal! Hanukkah Harry already helped me out with the Pietrangelo trade, so I was hoping you could help make my daddy (Corey Crawford) better. He's been really sick this year, and was my big off-season acquisition!
Love,
Dave (Calgary)
Dear Santa,
All I want for Christmas this year is the gift of time! Work has been so busy that I haven't been trading, making transactions, or fixing my IR. Connor McDavid is even on my bench right now for tonight's game! Auto-setting my roster won't win me a championship, but luckily Sweet Baby Auston has been here to save the day. Won't be leaving cookies and milk out this season as I've recently switched to a new Paleo Vegan Keto diet - can't have that shit in my house no more.
Cheers,
Nate (Colorado)
Dear Santa,
You're really hanging me out to dry on these Russians eh? First Kovalchuk, now Koskinen? Blink twice if I should trade Svechnikov and Dadonov before things go sideways. Thank u sweet baby Jesus for the safe delivery of Thomas Chabot, if it wasn't for him I'd easily have the worst defence in the league. By the way, can you get Lou to trade me Letang???
Enjoy the flight,
Josh (Dallas)
Dear Santa,
I wrote you but still ain't callin'
I left my cell, my pager, and my home phone at the bottom
I sent two letters back in autumn, you must not-a got 'em
There probably was a problem at the post office or somethin'
I got a room full of your posters and your pictures man
I like the shit you did with Calgary, that shit was fat
Anyways, I hope you get this man, hit me back,
Just to chat, truly yours, your biggest fan
This is Dan
(Los Angeles)
Dear Santa,
This month long losing streak is really starting to get me down, I've dropped all the way from 3rd to 9th! My goalie tandems aren't really working out - I'm thinking of acquiring another tandem of a has-been Western Conference team, maybe Chicago or Los Angeles? Is this some sort of sick punishment because I have so many NJD players on my team? PS please don't let Artemi Panarin go back to Russia.
Happy Holidays to you & Mrs Clause,
Josh (Las Vegas)
Dear Santa,
No surprises here, if you could send some stability in net, that would be AWESOME! Oh and also do away with the NHL bye weeks (these are still a thing?). I'd be open to having Semyon Varlamov deported if that's what it takes to finally give Grubauer the starting job in Colorado - do you know anybody at Homeland Security that could craft up a story?
PS if you need a good xmas tree, I have a hook up in Northern Minnesota.
Peter (Minnesota)
Dear Santa,
All I want for Christmas is more Canadiens players. I'm willing to harass everyone in the league, hell, I might even overpay. I have 6 right now, can we get to double-digits by the end of December?
Merry Canadiens...erm I mean Christmas,
Chris (Montreal)
Dear Santa,
Yikes, this league has been tougher than I expected! Pretty hard to make a dent when my only guys doing anything are Kurcherov and Barkov. Can you bring back me a fully healed Vincent Trochek and a standout WJC from Joel Farabee? Willing to give up the PHI and FLA tandems as sacrificial lambs.
Love,
Jon (New Jersey)
Dear Santa,
You know I picked my team to finish 2nd in the league this year right? Maybe you can come a couple of days early, and bring Patrice Bergeron with you? That, and literally any other top-100 players would be super helpful (I currently only have two!). I know Shawn hired Brian Trottier to coach his Rangers, but honestly, we'll pay him to come out of retirement. I'm desperate for some scoring!
Brent (New York Islanders)
Dear Santa,
Owe you big time for gifting me the worst division in the history of the DHL. The only time I've had such an easy road to the playoffs is that year I played in a league by myself (which I lost in the finals). Are you seeing Bruce Cassidy this year? Please ask him to let Brad Marchand get match penalties again. Also please send some elves to help with my scouting department - my prospect roster has about as much skills at the New Mexico U14 hockey team.
Here's a picture I painted of Brad Marchand in the penalty box lol.
Love always,
Shawn
Dear Santa,
All I want for Christmas is Mike Hoffman's girlfriend, a pet kangaroo, and for Jake Allen to wake the hell up.
Sincerely,
Darren (Ottawa)
Dear Santa,
For Christmas this year I'd like 5 extra IR spots to fit all of my injured goalies, a new groin for Jonathan Quick, and a way to get my 1st round pick back! All of my wingers have combined for like 20 goals all season, so a top prospect or two would be nice.
Love,
Matt (Philadelphia)
Dear Santa,
Granlund, Barkov, Teravainen, Aho, Vatanen, Ristolainen. I want all of the Finns. I'll move to Espoo, Finland if it'll keep Rantanen and Laine happy!!! Kappo Kakko 2019!!!
Garrett (St. Louis)
Dear Santa,
How are you? I'm good. Hey could you get Klingberg and Ghost back on track? Last I checked these guys combined for 130 points last season, and we'll be lucky to get half of that production this year! I'm also looking to get my hands on any goalie that can maintain a GAA under 3.50 - I don't know how you expect me to make the playoffs with Talbot and Murray. Chris offered me Michael McNiven for John Tavares, so I might jump on that sooner than later.
Appreciate the help,
Steve (Toronto)
Dear Santa,
Please get some reindeer sized skates and ask the boys to lace em up. I need all the help I can get. Did any of these other idiots ask for defencemen or Canadiens players? I'm happy to trade away Jeff Petry if somebody can make me any halfway decent offer. If Varlamov is being deported, please also make sure Vasilevski goes too - I never thought Louis Domingue would have value ever again. Please also ask Garrett to stop bugging me about Juuse Saros.
Merry Christmas,
Ken (Winnipeg)